Without further ado lets get on to this crazy train wreck of a show. This week's girl is Autumn from Virginia which also happens to be my home state. I'm not sure what part she's from though because she has a bit of an accent and the people in my neck of the woods just have your run-of-the-mill boring American accent with no fanciness added on. Accents aside Autumn seems like a pretty typical teenager she's sixteen and likes to party. But oops she didn't use proper protection and now she's pregnant. As an added bonus she has an older sister that just had baby herself. MTV definitely picked this one for the drama that two having two teen mothers living in the same house would cause.
Then we are introduced to Autumn's baby daddy, Dustin, and he certainly is a winner. Dustin is a member of the 420 Club and would rather spend his time getting high high high than providing for a baby, as Autumn notes not even Dustin's own mother thinks he'll be a suitable parent. Autumn still has faith in him though, and that makes me sad. Coming from the point of view of a 22-year-old cynic I can say that I knew some Dustin's in high school and they usually don't step up, hell I even drove past one them on my way to the library and what was he doing? Skateboarding in the parking lot and smoking cigarettes at 22. Fortunately Autumn doesn't seem to be a pothead idiot and she's doing homeschooling so she can take care of her forthcoming spawn and not fall behind.
Autumn confronts him about his drug use and this beacon of responsibility spouts out this wonderful knowledge. In typical sleazeball style he merely brushes off her concerns and seems to be off in his own weed filled world. He doesn't even remember how Autumn told him she was pregnant. Dustin just shrugs off her concerns but Autumn assures him that if he doesn't get his shit together she'll dump his ass. Dustin appeases her and says he'll man up but anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that this doomed to failure. Please Autumn just dump this scrawny sack of shit now and sue for child support. It'll save you a ton of pain in the end.
Then we switch to Autumn and her mom discussing the pregnancy and we figure out how this all came to be. Like most teenagers it seems that Autumn didn't know a damn thing about birth control thanks to our state's bible banger approved sex-ed class. Autumn's mom then pleads that she tried to get Autumn on birth control after Autumn's older sister got pregnant but Autumn claims she didn't take it because she didn't want to get fat. AKA she was lazy and missed a few pills. Mom correctly points out that Autumn has gained more weight now from getting pregnant than she would've had she just taken the damned pill.
The subject then changes to Dustin's weed smoking , Autumn defends her pot smoking lover and claims he's stopped smoking now that the baby's on the way. Mom is not impressed and tells Autumn that she thinks he's nothing but a strung out loser which is 100% true.
Not willing to take Autumn's word for it Mom arranges a meeting between both of the families involved in this mess. Autumn, Dustin, and their respective mothers decide to meet at a local restaurant to discuss the situation. Dustin tries to impress Autumn and her mother by announcing that he has purchased a crib at yard-sale for the exuberant expense of one dollar. However before he can be praised for his act of paternal responsibility, Dustin's mother, Dee, enters the conversations. Dee assures Autumn and her mother that the crib is exactly what you'd expect a one dollar crib to be.
The conversation then turns to weed, Dustin's favorite subject. He is adamant that he will not give up his pot hobby, though he concedes that at least he won't smoke pot when his child's with him. Shockingly this statement does nothing to placate his mother or Autumn's mother for that matter. Then all hell breaks loose and Dee gives he stoner son the tongue lashing he so righteously deserves. She gets loud in that restaurant and screams at him to get his responsibilities straight. This proves to be too much for poor Autumn and she breaks down crying. Dustin notices and comes over to comfort her. He manages to splutter out: "Now I just feel like the biggest asshole." As if the two mom's should feel guilty for telling him to get his shit together.
After lunch is over and tempers have cooled Dustin realizes that he's been kind of a dick and agrees to give up his pot smoking habit for his baby. He attempts to put together the $1 death trap but the damn thing won't stand up so with his tail between his legs Dustin goes to look at real cribs. He positively winces when he catches sight of a $69 crib and it begins to sink into him that if he wants to provide for a baby and smoke pot he'll have to get a job.
Autumn and her mother decide to give him some help, they make a list of all the local businesses that might be hiring and berate Dustin into calling some of them. Somehow, perhaps Autumn held his weed for ransom, Dustin is forced into calling these people and asking for a job, which he does while loudly munching an apple and speaking in a voice the drips of indifference. Surprisingly this gets nowhere with his would be employers. However Autumn is pleased with the effort and gives Dustin his praise. Some how later on he does actually get a job perhaps through a family friend or MTV.
Autumn is jubilant that Dustin now has a job and is seemingly clean. Autumn and her teen mom sister, Misty, go on a walk to discuss Dustin's progress. Autumn is pleased and thinks that things have changed for the better. However Misty has been down this path she's also a teen mother, she listens quietly to her sister's tell of woe while pushing her own baby down the street with no baby daddy in site. While she hopes that Dustin will be around for her sister, like everyone else Misty reassures Autumn that he's probably nothing more than druggie piece of crap and she should be prepared to do a lot of it on her own.
Then almost as if on cue Autumn's cell phone starts ringing and it's Dustin. He immediately starts spouting pointless gibberish from which us viewers can only glean that his mother has finally got sick of his weed problem and called the cops on him. He hurriedly hangs up once it becomes clear there's nothing his pregnant girlfriend can do for him from there. Misty sighs and asks if Autumn still thinks 420 is going to be great father to which Autumn mournfully replies "I don't know"
While Dustin manages to weasel his way out of his kerfuffle with police but Autumn finally is starting to doubt his word. With so prodding from her mother she finally agrees to buy a drug test and make Dustin take it. This is were the episode for me goes from an entertaining to just plain sad. How big of a fuck up do you have to be for your massively pregnant 16-year-old girlfriend to have to force you to take a drug test. I can only imagine what the person selling it to her was thinking, sheesh it's lucky Autumn didn't get a visit from the friendly neighborhood DPCS. I now I'm being snarkastic but this is just bullshit and totally unfair to this girl.
Autumn and her mother coerce Dustin into meeting them at a fast food restaurant and then rightfully demand that he prove he's give up his former life as a pothead loser and take a drug test. He resists at first claiming that such measures are unnecessary and that his word should be all that they need. Unperturbed Autumn puts her foot down and demands he do it. Realizing that he's defeated Dustin agrees to take the test. Which he does right then and there. Squatting in the filthy fast food restroom Dustin crosses his fingers and prays to our Lord Jesus that he can make clean pee. Once the deed is done he returns to his beloved and presents her with his offering which he places on the restaurants table. Something to think about next time you stop by the local McD's better not put your food on the tables for all ya' know just moments earlier there was a pothead piss cup in the same spot as your french fries.
Egregious health code violations aside Dustin shocks us all by presenting a clean drug test. Who knows maybe he will get his shit together and make father of the year after all. Everyone rejoices and Autumn is relieved that maybe just maybe her boyfriend isn't a complete loser after all. So we have brief pause from the drama and Autumn and Dustin go on to do cute things like making a belly mold etc.
And just in time too because not long after this Autumn goes into labor and gives birth to a baby boy named Drake, with Dustin standing stoically by. Seriously the dude just stands the blank faced showing no emotions as his girlfriend pushes their kid out of her body. And when people tell me that pot doesn't hurt anyone I will just laugh and point at Dustin and say "Ya' sure?". He does managed to crack a smile when someone gives him the baby to hold and the three of them take a cute family photo together and it's all butterflies and rainbows until it's time to go home and actually take care of the damn thing.
Happy and ready to tackle parenthood with Dustin by her side, Autumn leaves the hospital and goes back to her moms house. At first things look fine, Dustin helps with the baby though, 'not at night', he insists but still that is more than I had expected from him at the start of this episode. Unfortunately for poor Autumn this doesn't last and we are given a montage of Autumn tending to her sons every need by herself with Dustin largely not in the picture, and when he is in the picture he goes out of his way to be an ass. He refuses to change his son's diaper so he can finish a level of a video game, and gets angry when he's confronted about not buying diapers or wipes or anything for his son. There is even a clip when Dustin, eyes wide open and glazed over, drones that he's "never bought anything" for his son. He clearly doesn't think that's a problem and his blank-faced appearance shows that he doesn't care either. When Autumn asks him for child support he groans and rolls his eyes and coughs up a whopping $2.50 so the mother of his child can buy a box of Kleenex for the nights she'll be spending crying over her douche-bag deadbeat baby daddy. Autumn let's him no that's a piss poor offering and begs him for just a little more. She even tries to meet him half way and asks for $4.50 a week. How outrageous! That's money he could spend on weed! He tells Autumn that he finds that price unacceptable and tells her that he thinks being there emotionally for their son is enough.
A month rolls by and Dustin has still failed to provide a god damn thing for his child. According to Adam he rarely even visits. Realizing that they were all right, her mother, her sister, Dustin's mother, all of them, Autumn finally has had it. After a chat with her sister in the kitchen Autumn finally has to face the facts Dustin's a sack of shit and the only way she's going to get any help from him is if good ole' Uncle Sam forces it.
Accompanied by her mother Autumn seeks out an attorney, on Valentines Day, which is kinda of sad, and this is coming from someone who thinks Valentine's is a bullshit holiday anyways. The lawyer, an elderly well dressed gentleman with a pink and purple tie, assures Autumn that come hell or high water the government will force her pot smoking loser baby daddy to pay his due. Satisfied that she is in the right, Autumn makes up her mind and goes to court.
Afterwards she takes Drake on one of the few visits he will have with deadbeat father. While Dustin bonds with the son he's probably not seen since birth, Autumn informs him that she's filed for child support. Dustin responds in his usual fashion by giving us a blank spaced out stare. However once the meaning of her words breaks through the thick fog of pot smoke that swirls in Dustin's brain you can tell he's enraged. The Audacity of it! Who does this bitch think she is demanding he support his own child financially. He responds by acting like a petulant little child and uses his so to deflect Autumn's questions. She get increasingly more upset as he mocks and finally storms out of the house.
The episode ends with a confessional where we see a teary-eyed Autumn despairing that despite all her efforts and, how she stood up for him when no one else did, they were right and he's nothing but a pot smoking loser after all. She gives the typical lines that it was harder than she thought it would be and she's angry and upset that she's going to have to do it alone.
Overall I can't really say much bad about Autumn, she seems like a decent enough person, though a bit naive, and I do sort of feel sorry for having to deal with such an asshole baby daddy. She loves her son and takes care of him which is more than you can say about some of the mothers featured on this travesty of a show. We'll have to see how things turn out for her when they do the reunion show. Hopefully she'll be done with that asshole Dustin and on to greener pastures.
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