Since I wrote about 16 and Pregnant I thought I might as well recap Teen Mom 2 MTV's other teen pregnancy cash cow. Of course I'm a little late the game on this but oh well, while there are rumors that this is the last season of this show I'm not sure. The show might be cancelled but I bet we'll at least get those "Being Jenelle/Chelsea/Leah/Kailyn" specials in a few months. This is too much of money maker for MTV to let it go.
Last week there was a catch up with the two boring/stable girls on the show, Leah and Kailyn. This week we get the shows trainwreck girls: Jenelle and Chelsea.
Before we begin I should just get this off my chest. I hate this show. I mean I truly hate this stupid fucking show and not in the way I hate 16 and Pregnant. To me Teen Mom is just a trashy show about 20-something assholes making stupid decisions a-la Jersey Shore, except the sleazebag producers claim it's educational and helping to reduce teen pregnancy. I will call bullshit on this. Teen Mom is a show about girls fighting with their boyfriends, partying, and doing drugs, and occasionally parenting. Don't get me wrong I'm sure there is some MTV spin on this and the girls actually spend more time on their kids than is shown. However let's face it there isn't much a struggle, at least financially when you're getting a big fat MTV paycheck. Whatever though you don't care about my shitty opinion on the ethics of this show you want a recap and that's what I'll give you. Without further ado I present my snarcastic recap of part II of the Teen Mom II Finale Special.
We begin with Chelsea. She looks good and is sporting perhaps her best hairstyle since 16 and pregnant. And believe me I've seen Chelsea's changing hairstyles and they have almost always been terrible. This is only significant because she is going into cosmetology and you'd expect and beautician to have better hair and makeup. However this is petty bullshit and all snarkcastic remarks about Chelsea's appearance aside I actually kind of like this girl. Poor Chelsea she's had a rough season, when I refer to her as one of the trainwreck girls that is inaccurate, Chelsea is fine, maybe not the sharpest knife but fine, it's her asshole baby daddy that's the trainwreck. Dr. Drew spouts out a bunch of boring facts about how teen mother's don't succeed and congratulates Chelsea on her success in the most obnoxious way possible. I hate Dr.Drew, he's as much of a doctor as Dr. Phil. And I certainly blame him for the untimely deaths of several of his 'patients' on celebrity rehab. Alas that is a rant for another time and I will spare you it for now and focus on Chelsea.
Without further ado Dr. Drew begins to discuss the drama with Chelsea's loser baby daddy Adam. He's a real winner that Adam. For those of you that don't remember his history of assholish behavior I'll give you a quick rundown. On 16 and Pregnant he was your typical deadbeat loser but of course he had to go above and beyond so he sent his baby mama and abusive text message calling her a fat stretch mark bitch and offering to sign away his right to 'that mistake'. And things didn't get much better from there this season he decided he wanted to spend more time with 'the mistake' and served Chelsea with court papers demanding visitation, probably at the behest of his second baby mama, Taylor. Dr. Drew asks Chelsea if she has any sort of relationship with Taylor to which she replies no and explains that she was hooking up with Adumb behind Taylor's back while she was pregnant. Basically giving Taylor the same treatment that was meted out to Chelsea when she was pregnant with Aubree. Way to be classy Chelsea, I expect better from you. Dr. Drew then asks if Chelsea dates, she says that she doesn't because she wants to focus on herself. Good for you Chelsea I understand that perfectly.
Next Dr. Drew wheels out Adam to discuss his pathetic behavior over the past season. Adam looks ridiculous he's rocking the skinhead gangsta thug look now. Dr. Drew immediately questions Adumb about his three DUIs. Jesus crimeny three DUI's that's ridiculous and my heart aches for anyone whose lost someone to a DUI caused by dumbasses like Adumb. I just want to reach through the television screen and slap his stupid face and scream: "You are a piece of shit and you don't deserve Aubree or Paislee you should be locked up in jail right now." However Adam just brushes off these DUIs as petty nonsense which is bullshit. Adumb's last DUI actually had victims and you can read all about that on this TMZ article.
Next Dr. Drew decides to discuss Adam's bid for custody of Aubree. We find out that as you would expect Adumb has been making things difficult for Chelsea. He doesn't even let her have his phone number and he's making her contact him through facebook to arrange visitation like any mature responsible father would. This is code for he wants to screw Chelsea behind his second baby mama's back and wants to do it covertly. Dr. Drew doesn't beat around the bush with this nonsense and makes Adumb spit it out that he cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with his ex. Adumb lies that he feels horrible for putting his second baby mama through this but you and I both know that is bullshit. Adam let's us know that as of now he's still living with his second baby mama and their daughter and that he loves it when Aubree comes to visit. He blames Chelsea for Aubree's lack of visits. Chelsea points out that Adam is rarely around when he has visitation with Aubree. Adam however insists that 60-80% of the time he's there when Aubree visits. To which I roll my eyes. Adumb just wants Aubree to hurt his ex and when he gets her he just dumps her with his parents or his second baby mama.
Next Dr. Drew wheels out Chelsea's dad, Randy. I like Randy he sort of reminds me of my own dad. He doesn't tolerate Adumb's bullshit and that makes me like him. Randy talks about how he's proud that his daughter has finished school and got job in cosmetology. Dr. Drew ask's Randy how he feels about Adam having visitation. His response is mature and responsible he recognizes that Aubree need's to have her dad in her life regardless if he's sack of shit like Adumb. However he worries that Adam disappointing his granddaughter. He also worries that Aubree will be affected if she doesn't get to see her baby half sister Paislee, once Adumb and Taylor inevitably breakup. I feel for Aubree on this I'm very close to my sister and I'd be crushed if I couldn't see her anymore.
Adumb however wants to let us know that it's not fair. He whines about how Randy made fun of him on twitter. Then he blames Chelsea for their failed relationship and accuses her of sleeping with one of his best friends from high school while she was pregnant with Aubree. Adumb wants you to know that this scarred him for life. I don't know whether or not this is bullshit but all I see is a whiny Adumb trying to explain his dickish behavior. The segment ends off with the three hoping that they can co-parent for the sake of Aubree and Paislee. I just sigh and shake my head. For those of you who are interested, Taylor and Adumb did in fact break up and you can read about it Here. Unfortunately it looks like Aubree and Paislee will probably not grow up and have a close sisterly relationship. Which makes me sad, like I said I'm super close to my sister.
And now finally we check up with Jenelle. Jenelle is the most hated girl on this show she has both mental illness and drug addiction problems. Having struggled with mental illness myself I sort of feel for her on that front but that doesn't excuse some of her crappy behavior. So Jenelle comes out and she looks good by good I mean healthy she doesn't look like she's been doing heroin lately which makes me happy. Maybe there is hope for this girl after all. Dr. Drew plays a recap of her escapades this season and asks Jenelle what she thinks.
Jenelle bemoans that she and Nathan had been presented as this perfect couple when their not. However she let's us know that she wants to keep this baby and that she's not doing drugs or anything to endanger it's life. I don't know if I believe Jenelle or not. I want to but her past history makes my doubtful however at the moment she does look healthy like someone who isn't on drugs. They briefly discuss Jenelle's legal woes which has been handled by Jenelle's super lawyer. I don't know who this guy is but if I ever commit a crime I want him to represent me, he is clearly fantastic at his job.
Then the discussion turns to Jenelle's unborn child. Dr. Drew points out that neither Nathan nor Jenelle have custody of their firstborns. Jenelle responds by rolling her eyes and blaming it on Nathan's PTSD. Apparently Nathan got a brain injury while serving in the military and now he suffers flashbacks. Which is unfortunate if it's true, it sucks that we have all these soldiers coming home with mental health problems and the government just shrugs and says "I don't give a shit." However we have to look at Jenelle's taste in men and it seems Nathan has had some problems that might be unrelated to PTSD. Like our other father of the year Adumb, Nathan also has three DUIs.
So Dr. Drew brings out Nathan to discuss his problems. Nathan looks good to, as in he's not on drugs, but his hair is ridiculous. Dr. Drew asks Nathan if he's excited for the baby and he says yes that he is excited. To me this rings bullshit. If you watched the last episode you'll remember that on the way home from getting a sonogram this bleach blond asshole was sitting there emotionally abusing his ex. He told her that the baby might as well be dead since it's parents didn't love it and he demanded she get and abortion. Now he's done a 360 and claims he's happy as can be that Jenelle is about to birth his spawn. Trying to put on a happy couple scene Jenelle and Nathan tell the sickly sweet story of their first date. I don't buy it. They mention a fight they had over Nathan's ex-girlfriend in New York a fight that ended with blondie locked out of their hotel room. Dr. Drew seems to think this is a problem but Jenelle and Nathan just brush it off. If you've been reading the tabloids like I have you'll know that this is just one in a long string of fights these two have had.
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Finally they bring out Jenelle's mother Barbara everyone's favorite character on this show. As you probably know Nathan was not very nice to Barbara this season and he accused her of getting Jenelle on heroin. Nathan and Jenelle claim that now they have a better relationship with Barbara. Nathan even thinks that Barbara is funny. Dr. Drew asks Barbara if she's concerned about these two knuckleheads having a child together she responds that yes she is concerned. She thinks that Jenelle probably should've waited a little longer to get knocked up since she's just emerged from a life of drugs and loser boyfriends. However Barbara does say she is proud of Jenelle and how far she's come over the past year. Dr. Drew then asks what Barbara thinks of Nathan. She replies that she's concerned about them having a baby, because Nathan is a free loader, with three DUIs and no job. She is also concerned because when Jenelle's son, Jace, comes home he tells her all about the fights Jenelle and Nathan have. Jenelle interrupts to make sure we all know that Barbara isn't perfect either and that she's at terrible grandparent because she doesn't let her grandson eat junk food. God Damn you Barbara for caring about your grandson's nutrition. My mother strictly banned junk food when I was growing up too and now here I sit at a healthy 124 lbs. while some of my generation are massively obese because their mother's just couldn't say no.
The topic then changes to custody. Nathan says that he hopes to get custody of his daughter but doesn't go into details about how he might accomplish this. It is revealed that Jace is actually spending weekends with his mother and her new baby daddy. Barbara hopes that Jace will be able to spend time with Jenelle. Barbara then tells us that sometimes Jace calls her mama and that she's the only mother figure he's really known, which I think we can all agree is true. Nathan and Jenelle agree that there a special bond between Jace and Barbara.
Dr. Drew then asks if Barbara thinks Jenelle is ready for another baby. Barbara shakes her head and says she wishes that Jenelle had waited. And she is definitely right you can read about Nathan latest legal woes here.
And for the grand finale Dr. Drew assembles they whole gang. A lot can be said of this photo.
Note the giant gulf between Jo and Kailyn and the Isaac is sitting at his mothers feet. To the right of them are Leah and Corey with their twin daughters. They sit apart but it doesn't seem like an I-hate-you-and-want-chop-off-your-testicles sort separation. In Front of them are Adumb, Aubree, and Chelsea. A terrified Aubree clings to her mother while her thuggish father sits awkwardly beside her. Then to the left we have Jenelle and Jace all by their lonesome, he's snuggled up to her which seems to show that despite all of Jenelle's fuck ups Jace still loves her and sees her as his mom. Dr. Drew takes a moment to preach how the show has cured teen pregnancy. He then interviews the toddlers which is cute. Then there are fan questions none of which are interesting and then they show ends with all the cast appearing on the stage. And it is over until season 6? if there is a season 6.
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